What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse can affect anyone, regardless of their background, identity, gender, or sexual orientation.

Abuse is not always easy to recognise, especially when it involves someone close to you. Consider whether a current or former partner or family member has ever:

• Insulted, humiliated, or belittled you.

• Used your gender identity or sexual orientation to threaten, intimidate, or control you.

• Threatened to disclose your identity without your consent.

• Threatened to harm you, loved ones, or pets.

• Controlled your finances or access to money.

• Pressured or forced you into sexual activity.

• Used physical violence.

• Stalked, harassed, or monitored you in person, online, or by phone.

• Restricted your contact with friends, family, work, education, or community groups.

• Displayed extreme jealousy or made unfounded accusations.

• Used alcohol or drugs to control you or excuse abusive behaviour.

• Damaged, withheld, or controlled your belongings.

• Deliberately used the wrong pronouns or invalidated your identity.

• Denied access to healthcare, medication, or hormones.

• Used your race, ethnicity, disability, or immigration status against you.

• Pressured or forced you into marriage.

• Blamed you for their actions or downplayed their behaviour.

• Threatened self-harm if you leave or seek support.

If any of these behaviours sound familiar, you may be experiencing domestic abuse. Support is available, and you do not have to deal with it alone.

Some forms of domestic abuse may specifically target a person's sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender history.

This can include:

• Attempting to change, suppress, or reject your identity or sexuality

• Isolating you from friends, family, and/or LGBTQ+ support networks

• Pressuring you to hide your identity or relationship

• Threatening to reveal your romantic or sexual orientation, gender identity, gender history and/or HIV status, without your permission

• Using coercive or controlling behaviour related to your identity or sexuality

• Using access to hormones / gender-affirming medication to control or manipulate you

• LGBTQ+ people may struggle to access support because:

• Abuse from family members may not be correctly identified as abuse

• They may be worried about support services understanding their identity and /or sexuality

• Abusive behaviour may be normalised in their relationships

• Misinformation that LGBTQ+ relationships ‘can’t be abusive’

• If you would like to understand more about how the LGBTQ+ experience of domestic abuse can be unique, please find more information at LGBTQ+ | Reducing the Risk and Domestic abuse.

• Please find advice for staying safe online when accessing domestic abuse services at Staying Safe Online.

• Please find information about accessing emergency housing and support for those experiencing domestic abuse at Emergency Accommodation &
  Housing Support.